The Fifth Dispensation - - Fortitude (part III)
(Abbahdon continued) – No trial is too great – Not adversity that breaks, but bitterness,
anger and hate – Forgive others and free your heart – Knowledge is environment; environment
dwells within – Parable: The old man who knew the will of God – Let go of bitterness
and be grateful – Have a heart of steel wrapped in velvet – The strength and light
of Abbahdon’s words
1 And Abbahdon continued to speak, saying: “Consider then such burdens as do break
the heart and mind together, to turn you away from the pursuit of heavenly things,
being unable yourselves to reconcile yourselves to God, for you are made bitter and
filled with wrath.
2 For you perceive wrongly that this trial or that hardship was greater than you
could bear, causing that you should not endure, but have surrendered your very selves
to lesser passions, which passions would blind and wound, to steal away all joy and
light and wisdom;
3 To leave you weak and unable to endure any longer, becoming yourselves exhausted
and despairing; viewing the days of all your life with bitterness and complaint,
of which there seems no end, casting away from out of the heart and mind the fortitude
which God has given you.
4 Yet will I reveal truly the thing which does break the spirit to weigh you down
with many sorrows; for it is given of God unto every man and every woman that there
should be no trial greater than you can bear; for in each trial which life would
bring upon you has God appointed a teacher and a lesson.
5 But it is through hurtful memories that you would speak from your lips all manner
of bitterness and anger and hate, to wound again and again the heart and soul within
you; to break in pieces even your own selves.
6 Surrendering yourselves to the dark speaker which would turn you away from God,
which dark speaker is the very ego within yourselves; casting up to feed your anger
all manner of hurtful memories.
7 Causing that you should see only the evil which others do, while yet you forget
the good, heaping upon your own selves an increase of bitterness and anger, to fill
you with many resentments.
8 Beware, therefore, the things which you would see in another, for in such things
is there found the likeness and image of yourselves; for if you turn your heart to
seeing evil only, then by and by are you also made as evil.
9 But if you should see the good which others do, then is there born within you
already the greater portion, having yourselves fashioned the likeness of your speech
and manner in the likeness of the things you see.
10 Know then and be you wise, for it is not given that any trial or hardship or
adversity should break you, but of bitterness and anger and hate, these are the things
which break and shatter, having arisen within your very selves to fill you up with
11 For every trial have you endured already, but of your own bitterness and anger
and hate, this do many not survive, having devoured yourselves through the refreshing
of hurtful memories and bitter passions;
12 Making your speech hard and filled with wrath, to make your heart and mind as
something brittle and weakly thin; breaking yourselves again and again for you will
not let go the hurtful thing.
13 Why then are you made as one weak and deeply wounded, feeling yourselves unable
to endure and overcome? How will you reject the lesser portion midst bitter words
and hurtful scorn, while yet you seek the greater portion?
14 Becoming to yourselves a stumbling block which you yourselves cannot see, feeding
to your heart the bitterness of thought and speech; never permitting that you be
healed, but tearing again and again the wounds which afflict you so.
15 And all these things because you have forsaken the ways of fortitude, causing
that you should be devoid of such grace as would calm the troubled waters of all
your heart and mind, to fill the soul with peace and joy.
16 For this would I have you learn most surely, that in the forgiveness which you
give to others, do you but save yourselves instead, setting free your own heart from
bitterness and inward strife.
17 For in forgiveness do we reveal in our lives the grace which dwells within, and
in the revelation of that inward grace is there made to rise up that very fortitude
which would lift us above the storm, having set free the soul from the shadows of
18 Causing that we should sing with the lips a joyful song, being ourselves set
free of every burden, causing that we should fly and soar and sweetly rush, discovering
anew within our soul the height and breadth and depth of God.
19 Why then is there not perfected in you the gift of fortitude, or of grace and
forgiveness together? Behold it is not perfected because of such a will as you do
possess, being itself tainted by the environment in which you live.
20 Being itself made captive to lesser things, appearing itself unable to rise above
the smallness of your lives, being torn and undecided between the lesser and greater
portion, being yourselves filled with tremblings and doubts of every kind, thinking
yourselves unworthy and undeserving of the God which loves you so.
21 Rejoice therefore, and dance about, for this day shall I make known the deliverance
of God unto you, for this truth shall I make known in your hearing.
22 For there is provided you a means of escape already, for environment is not that
which is seen outside yourselves, but rather that which dwells within. Know, therefore,
that all knowledge is environment, and nothing else beside.
23 For this cause has God sent unto the earth the teachers of righteousness, revealing
through the scriptures the surest path to joy and happy light; disclosing in their
words the will of God made manifest in the living of your life.
24 Which will is incorruptible of mortal men, being itself rooted in Heaven’s glory
and not made base or common; but standing itself forth within your souls as a bright
and shining star, to safely guide you home again.
25 Submit yourselves with eager hearts to the study of the scriptures, and ponder
deeply well the joy contained therein, to see if you yourselves might sweet partake;
taking to yourself a will which is ever bright and filled with hope.
26 Hiding up within your heart, the heart which comes from God, committing to memory
the words which God did give; creating in your own selves an environment where you
might safely dwell.
27 Proving yourselves through the word of God as one incorruptible, undivided, invincible
and resolute in a good and holy cause.
28 For in the will of God is fortitude awakened within yourselves, proving yourselves
a proclaimer of the word and a redeemer of those who walk in darkness; lifting up
by your submission to God, those which fall and falter upon the way.
29 Come now and hear this parable, for I will reveal to you what the will of God
is like unto, how it is revealed through the goodness you do, if it so be that you
would yield yourself before it.
30 Now there lived in a certain town, a man which all men and women loved, for he
was their teacher in ages past; for having no children of his own, he looked upon
every child as his own, to tender them with great affection.
31 Teaching the children through gentle ways, how to fish and how to cook, how to
plant and how to harvest, how to read and how to write, how to gather and how to
heal; speaking to the little children stories of his own devising, whereby he might
enlighten and entertain midst smiles and happy laughter.
32 And by and by the children grew and became themselves as parents also, and even
to their children would the old man do likewise as he did the first.
33 Thus with each succeeding generation did the people of the town grow in affection
and kind regard towards the old man which lived alone; for he was a good and holy
man who judged little but loved much.
34 Now when the man was old and bent with age, being himself some ninety years old,
having proved himself a kind and gentle benefactor, there came to the town men of
business, being themselves filled with excitement and eager to obtain great riches.
35 For there was discovered not far away, a vein of gold both rich and pure which
ran deep into the earth; and following the gold to its source, they found the mother
lode in the fields and orchards of the old man.
36 And going to the old man, they offered him all manner of wealth and treasure
for the purchase of his land, but the old man would not sell, being himself unmoved
by the lure of money, or seduced by the promise of prosperity; but did himself refuse
kindly, asking God to bless and guide those which stood before him.
37 For the old man valued most the singing of the birds and the wind in every tree,
sitting beneath the shade or walking in the fields; counting as his only treasure
the people he loved and the God he followed.
38 Thus did the men of business return to the town with great excitement, telling
to every man and every woman of the treasure which did await, and of the prosperity
which would descend upon the whole town because of it.
39 Speaking also of the old man’s refusal to sell whereby the town might be benefited,
calling him selfish and uncaring towards the needs of others; claiming him an old
and foolish man which would rob the town of great reward.
40 Thus did the business men conspire to turn the whole town against the old man,
being hopeful that the town itself might force the old man to sell whereby they might
prosper; for the men of business had offered the whole town a partnership where they
might each receive a portion of all the gold.
41 So it came about that there went unto the old man, the men and women of the town,
and they entreated him to sell, but with kindness he did refuse them; and they did
grow angry and impatient because of all their greed.
42 And every passing day did the people grow angrier and angrier and more embittered
against the old man, forgetting the love they once did bear; casting at him bitter
words and hateful eyes; causing that many did think to do violence against him.
43 And on a certain night did the citizens of the town cast through the windows
of the old man’s house a bitter message filled with death; saying that if he would
not sell his land for the good of the town; then would the town come forth three
days hence to kill him.
44 Yet the old man would not yield, but did instead call unto his house the Presiding
Patriarch of his quorum and the Presiding Matriarch of the Assembly.
45 And when there had passed the three days, there surrounded the house a mob of
angry men and women; and there came out to greet them the old man; and on his right
stood the Presiding Patriarch and on his left the Presiding Matriarch.
46 And the matriarch, raising forth her hand to speak, quieted the whole mob, saying:
“Behold and consider well this thing you do, for this day shall the old man yield
himself before your anger without complaint or troubling fear.
47 Yet has he even now called us forth whereby he might write his last will and
testament, which testament even I will read in your hearing.”
48 And taking hold of the scroll, she began to read, saying: “To all my friends
and neighbors I do bequeath the sum of all my worldly possessions, being myself content
to die, yet being hopeful that such things as I might give, might heal you of every
49 To Thomas would I give my old fishing pole, for I remember well when you were
a boy, and together we would fish the river’s edge in the early summer morn;
50 And to Jabesh would I give my hoe, for when you were young and filled with dreams,
even I did walk beside you, teaching with utmost care to plant and harvest.
51 Give to Leah my willow basket, for in the days of her youth did I teach to her
the gathering of herbs and the making of medicines, while to Ballis I would give
my flute, which flute I did play for him when as a youth he lay sickly pale…”
52 And so the matriarch read one by one, the names of those who would kill the old
man; and one by one did they repent in their heart, to turn themselves away.
53 Still did the matriarch read on, speaking the will which the old man had written,
even till he had given away the sum of his earthly possessions; evensomuch that he
gave to the town the land they desired, to be made into a park where their children
might sweetly play.
54 And by and by the mob did disperse and quietly fade, even as the morning mists;
till there was but one only who would stand before the old man, being himself filled
with deep remorse and bitter tears; and he spoke quietly to the old man, saying:
“What kind of will is this which you have written?”
55 Then did the old man gently place his hand upon the cheek of the youth, saying,
“It is the will of God, my son; the will of God and nothing more.”
56 Thus did the old man, in the midst of trial, redeem even all the town, holding
up for all to see the will of God, causing that every man and every woman should
find release from the darkness of their greed.
57 If then you would nurture within yourselves the seed of fortitude, then seize
hold the will of God to make it as your own, studying with eager heart the scriptures
which are given you from the Heavenly Father and the Heavenly Mother.
58 Letting go within yourselves the bitterness of your heart and mind, being grateful
that you have survived the hardships and disappointments of your life, to succumb
no longer to memories which would break and shatter the peace and joy you seek.
59 Forgiving those which have offended, lest you yourselves be all consumed by hurtful
passions which tear the heart and wound the mind; causing that you should prove yourselves
unwise in the living of your mortal life.
60 Let your outward heart be soft as velvet in dealing with the ways of men, while
yet in your inward heart prove yourselves as steel and fire together blended; becoming
yourselves, in humble fashion, as one made indomitable, invincible, relentless and
61 Remembering always the virtues you seek to live, which virtues are born of strength
and firm resolve; committing yourselves to God through study and prayer.
62 Setting aside such base emotions as would weary you, but cleaving unto God instead,
believing with all your heart that even God shall quick deliver; letting go your
own imperfect will while yet you seek the greater will which comes from God alone.
63 Remember well with grateful hearts this lesser portion from which you came; for
in the shadows of your life is the light made most clearly seen, whereby you might
weigh in the hand with thoughtful care, both the greater and lesser portion.
64 Speaking not with bitterness against such trials as you endure, but finding still
the goodly thing within; for it is the words you speak from the lips which prove
greater than you can bear, wounding again and again the heart and mind together,
causing that you should live anew the hurt of every trial and every hardship.”
65 These then are the words which Abbahdon spoke before the whole assembly, and
there arose from out of the multitudes a great ‘amen!’ For every man and every woman
did yield their heart and mind to the goodness of the word, and became themselves
resolved to live them.
66 And from that day till now have the members of every quorum strived diligently
to know most deeply the will of God; studying daily the scriptures midst fervent
prayer; memorizing such words as did prove a constant help in times of trouble.
67 Thus, did there arise within the whole assembly a great and eager competition
between the quorums, both Patriarchal and Matriarchal, causing that there were many
who became themselves incorruptible of lesser things, being themselves as deeply
knowing of the will of God; and in that perfect will did they become as one invincible
before the trials and whims of every circumstance.
68 And Abbahdon lived among the assembly for still some sixty years, teaching always
of fortitude and grace; speaking always of the will of God and of forgiveness; making
strong what once was weak, making bright what once was touched by darkness.