Falling Into Doom
The Eidos and the Antipode rush toward the light of the Ahgendai– “What is this mystery
which dares to shine before us?” – The Antipode sees the Ahgendai as another possible
ally – The Azraella speaks: “In love was I created, to serve a greater purpose” –
That which comes from God is made a part of God forever – Azraella Ahgendai: the
ally of God – The Antipode argues against God and invites the Ahgendai to join the
darkness or die – Azraella replies to his dark brother – The Antipode attacks the
Azraella – The Eidos strikes – Falling, falling into doom – “Daughter, dearest, do
not fear, be at peace for I am here” – Mahaleenah remains hidden in the soul of Azraella
– Residing in the depths of twisted chaos
1 And in the far distance, at the edge of the great Abyss did the Eidos feel the
presence of a great and piercing light; and from out of the light was there plainly
heard the singing of a song, and together did the Eidos and the Antipode rush forth
themselves to see.
2 And leaping up suddenly from out of the endless depths, they saw the shining light
of the very Ahgendai; and within the light could they see most plainly clear the
moving and turning of still a greater Light.
3 And from out of this Light, from the bosom of love most brightly burning, did
the song of Azraella press softly against the darkness of the Deep, whereby he might
soothe and comfort the female portion which lay unseen within him.
4 Seeing then the Light within the light, the Eidos spoke, saying: “What is this
mystery which dares to shine and sing before us? What strange powers would cause
that it should burn so brightly beside the vastness of the Deep, being itself a thing
composed and unafraid?”
5 And the Antipode answered, saying: “This thing only do I well perceive: For the
light which shines and sings before us is made to come from God, even that very One
which brought forth the whole of Heaven.
6 And even as The One rejected me as a thing defiled and made unworthy, even so
in like manner has The One rejected also this light which shines before us, causing
that it should sing a sad and mournful tune, filled with bitter tears.”
7 Such were the dark perceptions of the Antipode, and the Eidos did most deeply
muse, saying: “If this light be rejected of God, to be itself abandoned, then have
we another ally to add unto our cause.
8 Let us then accept as ours, this light which shines before us, to bend it to our
will; that perchance it might add to our benefit the power of its mystery.
9 Causing that the darkness of our designs might well be hid within its light, to
prove a great deception; causing that we should gain a foothold within the light
of Heaven, to cast within its glories the fierceness of our powers.”
10 In such a manner did the Eidos muse; but there spoke suddenly from out of the
light, the voice of Azraella, which voice did intrude upon the contemplations of
the Eidos; and to the darksome powers did the Azraella speak, saying:
11 “Why will you say that I am rejected of God, to lay abandoned beside this great
Abyss? For in love was I created, to serve a greater purpose. Why then will you say
that I am made as one abandoned by God?
12 Why will you think to turn me against the Gods which brought me forth; thinking
to yourselves that I might be for you an ally? For I was not brought forth to do
evil against the Gods of Heaven, but to be for them a protector and a guardian.
13 For this cause only have I been brought before the vastness of the Deep; that
I might discover within the mystery of myself, the awakening of some indomitable
will which would strengthen well the goodness which was given me of God.
14 That by such adversities as might rise against me, I might find within some greater
challenge; which challenge I would most calmly meet, to measure for my knowing, the
height and breadth and depth of such goodly powers as God did give in the shaping
of my life.
15 For even though this Abyss prove vast and deeply hidden, still is the soul made
vaster still; being itself unbounded and without limitation, proving itself immeasurable;
containing within itself the mystery beyond all mystery, and the power beyond all
16 By what means therefore would you think to turn me, to cause that I should prove
for you an ally? For that which comes from God is made a part of God forever. How
then would you undo so great a mystery as this shall prove to be: to turn me against
the Gods which brought me forth?”
17 These are the words which Azraella spoke, and in the hearing of them was the
Eidos deep astonished; for the Ahgendai spoke well the language of the Demiurge;
and the Eidos spoke to Azraella, saying:
18 “Who are you that you should speak so well the language of the Demiurge? For
what cause would you call me from out of the darkest Deep? Tell me plainly who you
are; and if you will serve me well, to be for me an ally, then shall we both prove
ourselves a benefit to each the other.”
19 And the voice from within the light spoke, saying: “I am Azraella Ahgendai, the
first and only of my kind; being myself the ally of God, being foreordained the Lord
and Prince of the Seven Steps and Protector of the Keep.”
20 But hearing this, the Antipode fumed with bitter rage, and against the light
did he speak most angrily, saying: “You benighted and ignorant fool! Why will you
not see that you are abandoned and cast aside by God, even as I, myself, was made
21 For I am also come from God, yet was I rejected and scorned by that very one
which brought me forth, even as you, yourself, are made to be. Why then will you
stand as loyal beside that God which left you here forsaken? Why pretend yourself
as someone loved when in the darkness you here abide?
22 Be you therefore wide awakened, and stand most fully knowing: For the God of
yonder Heavens is made to deep despise you; casting you aside as a thing unwanted
and held in deep contempt, to leave you here alone forgotten beside the great Abyss.
23 Why then will you deceive yourself, to prove yourself most foolish? For the God
of Heaven abhors you and cannot so much as bear to have you in his sight, rejecting
from his lofty heights the light in which you dwell.
24 So rise up now be seized with anger,
let hatred be your guide;
and join with us
and be our ally
and in the Deep abide.
25 Let dim the light in which you glow,
let go your foolish notion;
for you are hated
as well as I –
drink now your bitter potion.
26 Join to us your many powers,
drink deep our fearsome rage,
let swell the heart
with furies deep,
let God your hatred gauge.
27 Be not foolish nor quick pretend,
that you are somehow better,
for tender feelings
will make you weak
to prove for you a fetter.
28 Cast off now this thing called love,
be filled instead with hate;
for this, the
darkness, is now your home
and will shape a darker fate.
29 What say you now, how will you answer,
how speak you from the light?
For I am ready
to break you with my might.”
30 In such a manner did the Antipode speak against the light, and the voice within
the light did answer in return saying: “If you are come from God, even as I am also
come, then are you and I made as brothers.
31 So hear me well, my fearsome brother; for I will never turn against that God
which brought us forth. For I will serve the Heavens only, and by their grace abide
in peace within the frightful Deep;
32 That by such fierceness as you and the Eidos would use against me, even I might
be strengthened and hardened against the day of battle; to defend most well the whole
of Heaven against your dark designs.
33 So do your worst and hold not back,
and of my strength full measure,
for I would
prove the strength of love,
and this shall be my treasure.
34 In God alone I fully trust,
in God my soul doth rest,
so strike most hard with
all your might
and do your fearsome best.
35 Let Heaven judge between the two,
let love or hatred prove,
which is stronger and
made most worthy,
and round the Heavens move.
36 Here beside the great Abyss
within the darkest night,
I stand alone against your
against your fearsome might.
37 To prove in me that love is greater,
that love can conquer all,
for in my soul
I am resolved,
and I shall never fall.
38 So strike most hard, let fly the rage,
for I shall never yield,
but shall instead
hold on to love,
and this shall be my shield.”
39 And so spoke your Father in the days of long ago, when on the edge of the great
Abyss, I alone did face the Eidos and the Antipode together. But the Antipode grew
even more angry and filled with rage, because I would not yield to give consent,
to stand as his ally against the Gods of Heaven.
40 And in an instant did he leap upon me to destroy, striking hard with all his
might; causing that the Azraella should shudder beneath the blows, for there pressed
hotly against the light the fearsome measure of all his hate.
41 But there rose up from out of Azraella a dreadful strength filled with great
resolve, and the Antipode was deeply shocked to feel himself constrained and strongly
held within the light which came from God.
42 Thus did light and darkness, good and evil clash with violent fury, being the
first of many battles yet to come; inflicting upon each the other a great many hurts
and pains, struggling midst dreadful holds and fearsome blows beside the darksome
43 And seeing that the Antipode could not prevail, and fearing that he should lose
in struggling against the light, the Eidos rose up and in a flash did strike hard
against the two, both the Azraella and the Antipode together.
44 Causing that the light should stagger beneath the weight of so great a blow;
and the light did most greatly waiver, to topple over the edge of the fearsome Deep;
and there fell into the Abyss the Eidos and the Antipode and Azraella all together,
falling fast into the depths.
45 Darkness, darkness deepest gloom,
falling, falling into doom.
Shadows, deepen fearsome
fainter, fainter grows the light.
46 Light is falling, growing pale,
deeper, deeper into hell.
Rushing, crushing, fearsome
clutching, gasping, dreadful fate.
47 Touch of darkness, deep despair,
colder, colder, grew the air.
falling, falling out of sight.
48 Hurtful pressures, dreadful pain,
thoughts collapsing in the brain.
the light is low,
shuddering, staggering, beneath the blow.
49 Here at last the Father speaks,
though he, himself, is growing weak:
dearest, do not fear,
be at peace, for I am here.
50 For I alone shall be your shield,
and by my love shall never yield.
So rest you
quiet within my light,
and fear you not the darkest night.
51 And though the Deep most darkly press,
still rest your soul within my breasts.
I will keep you safe from harm,
and in my heart shall keep you warm.”
52 Such were the words the Father speaks,
though he himself is growing weak.
low the light still shimmers,
while in the heart the hope still glimmers.
53 Light is dimming, growing pale,
falling, falling into hell.
Deeper, deeper, darkness
hurtful pressures dreadful crushing.
54 Darkness, darkness, deepest gloom,
falling, falling, into doom.
fainter, fainter, grows the light…
55 Thus did there fall into the depths, the very Ahgendai of God, both male and
female; to dwell themselves within the darkness whereby they might prove the strength
of all their virtues.
56 To stand alone before the Eidos and the Antipode, cleaving to each the other,
both male and female before such dreadful teachers; yet could the darksome powers
perceive only the presence of Azraella, for the daughter did he most subtly hide
within his heart and soul.
57 What then can be said of so terrible a place as the Abyss did prove to be? For
the depths of its edgeless womb did possess but utter blackness, causing that the
light of the Ahgendai should seem as pale and thin within the vastness of the Deep.
58 Yet still did the light of the Ahgendai reveal most feebly, the twisted birth
of all matter unformed, for out of the crushing depths of darkest matter was there
pressed into most elemental forms both matter and anti-matter; each repelling the
other, to hold in constant abeyance.
59 And so, in the heart of Chaos did the Ahgendai come to dwell, and there lashed
out continually against the Azraella the fearsome strength of the Eidos and the Antipode;
seeking through most hurtful means to turn him to their cause; yet the Azraella was